[The scene opens in the office of Bisc Limpkit, showing none other than old school SWF star and resident bigman, Tiny Biggs.]
BISC LIMPKIT: Tiny, I know you've been waiting patiently to get back into this federation man. I want you here more than anyone. But that damn insurance policy just wouldn't let us get you in here! Anyone we sign now has to fit their limits, that's just how it is.
[Tiny gets an expression of anger and disappointment on his face as he stands to leave.]
BISC LIMPKIT: Now, Tiny, come on man. You know that I have tried everything here. It took awhile, but I finally found the loophole. You still have a contract from the LAST SWF stint, right?
[Tiny nods his head.]
BISC LIMPKIT: See? There's the answer. That contract is still good. The insurance company can only impose their limits on new signees, but since you already ARE under contract, technically at least, you can be renewed. Welcome back, Big Man.
[Tiny smiles wide and sticks out a huge hand for Bisc to shake. They shake hands happily and Tiny leaves the office as the scene fades into the NTB logo.]
[A low rumbling slowly builds in the background. Suddenly it heightens and guitar beats blast as "Right Now" by SR-71 begins to play. Explosions fly off in procession along with the music as the verse kicks in. The camera skims along outside San Diego Sports Arena in San Diego, California, as the SWF faithful wait to enter the arena. It cuts to the inside as a huge pyrotechnic display goes off all around the entryway and up along the SmackTV. We see foam fingers, bottles of hot sauce, "Sexy Bitch" crutches, and tons more SWF trademark items being waved by the fans. The camera cuts to inside the ring where familiar announcers Tony Rielly and Rick Lawton stand side by side, ready to begin the show.]
Tony: Ladies and gentlemen, this is NO TURNING BACK!
[The crowd cheers loudly, but Rick grabs the mic from Tony and waves his arms. The crowd boos as Rick clears his throat.]
Rick: I can't believe you people. You are so pathetic, it sickens me. Our president, Michael Trey-
[A pop for Trey, mostly to interrupt Rick's little speech.]
Rick: AHEM! Our president hasn't shown up in weeks! We've had to cancel shows, we've lost wrestlers, and to be honest, we've lost a lot of fans because he doesn't decide to come and run his own federation. What the hell is going on, anyways? Could someone puh-leease tell me? Why do you people still cheer him?! Why would you even like him?!
["Revolution Is My Name" by Pantera hits the speakers in San Diego. The crowd stands at once, all to turn and see if it is really Vice President Bisc Limpkit who is coming out to the ring. After a few moments and some light show, the VP comes out and taunts the crowd. He's wearing a shirt with Kyle Solomon's face on it, with a huge X made of duct tape over top of it to show his hate for "The Mark". He steps down to the ring and takes the mic from Rick's extended hand, who oddly is smiling at Bisc's appearance.]
BISC LIMPKIT: Rick, you are one hell of a guy, you know that?
Rick: Uhm... thanks?
BISC LIMPKIT: You know, as a matter of fact... I agree with you. Sure, I've said that I was cool with Trey in the past, but that son of a bitch is tearing the SWF down to NOTHING. I've tried sending out search parties, I've paged the bastard, and no response. I have to run the entire show here now. You saw how I had to deal with Tiny this week. He's not the only star coming to me with complaints. Well... I'm sick of it.
[The crowd gets quiet, wondering what he means.]
BISC LIMPKIT: You can all cheer that stupid piece of crap all you'd like, but from now on, you're going to be wishing you liked ME...
Tony: Uh.. Bisc, what are you talking about?
BISC LIMPKIT: Tony, I'm talking about none other than... THIS.
[Bisc drops the mic and pulls the Anti-Mark shirt off over his head to reveal none other than a shirt that has printed in huge letters "NEW SWF PREZ" on it! The crowd boos massively and starts chucking garbage into the ring at Bisc, who flips them off.]
BISC LIMPKIT: That's right. I'm taking over here, and the SWF will NEVER be the same. Now, since Trey isn't even here to do a damn thing about it, I've got a few surprises throughout the night and maybe we'll see just who puts on a better show. In fact... I've got an idea. Trey's little baby, Kyle Solomon... well, you all know how I feel about Solomon. That punk doesn't deserve a title match, much less a WORLD title match. Solomon is outta here, gone, adios. No main event for him tonight. He'll sit in the back. Too bad, hunh? I suppose I'll have to find a replacement. Ah well... I'll live. I'm outta here.
["Revolution Is My Name" hits once again as Bisc jumps out of the ring and stomps to the back. The crowd continues to boo loudly and chant ASS-HOLE, ASS-HOLE at Bisc. He doesn't seem to give a damn as he goes through the back and the crew gets ready for the first match.]
[The match started out slow, with Spaz avoiding Gangus for a large portion of the match. Spaz got the upperhand for a little while, nailing a series of rights and lefts and a couple suplexes. Gangus somehow manages to block the last suplex and nails a DDT onto Spaz. Both men lay for awhile, until Gangus gets up. He grabs a chair from the outside and beats the hell out of Spaz with it, drawing blood. Gangus throws the chair onto the fallen Spaz and climbs the turnbuckle, diving off in an insane 450 splash onto Spaz and the dented chair! Gangus gets the pin and will advance to the #1 Contender's match later in the card! "Smells Like Teen Spirit" hits as Gangus gets up to leave, but a man jumps from the crowd to attack him. The camera zooms in on the two men, and we see that it is the man who appeared a couple times on SWF TV named Candyman! He is going after Gangus and the two brawl to the backstage area. The camera follows in pursuit and we see them reach the locker room area. Gangus swings a pipe at Candyman's head, but Candyman ducks and punches Gangus in the gut. Gangus loses his breath and Candyman picks him up in a powerbomb, slamming him through a t-shirt vendor's table! Candyman stumbles out towards the parking lot as Gangus lies in the broken table, holding his ribs. The camera cuts back into the arena for the next match.]
[Renegade and Dade Lawrence both got into the ring and got after each other right away in a brawl. Renegade whips Lawrence into the ropes early and drops him with a samoan drop, then climbs onto him and locks in an armbar. Dade gets some leverage and gets to the ropes. Renegade goes to pick up Dade, but Lawrence grabs Renegade by the legs and sweeps them out from under Renegade. Lawrence does some elbow drops and pulls Renegade up, pushing him into the corner. Dade climbs the turnbuckle to go for some top rope move, but Renegade pushes him off the ropes and to the outside. The ref starts leaning over the ropes, lookin at Dade. An unknown man runs in through the the crowd, hops up on the ropes, and hits Renegade with a Springboard Rocker Dropper. Lawrence sees this, and has a confused look on his face. The ref's still talking to Dade, not paying attention to the inside of the ring. Then the unknown man gets up, and starts jumping up and down, dancing and headbanging like a dumbass. Dade gets a "what the FUCK?!"-type look on his face, as the man slides out the ring and runs back into the crowd. Dade slides in the ring, looks at Renegade as he lays there knocked-out. He looks at the crowd, shrugs his shoulders, and pins him for the 3-count.]
[A huge match, as IceMan came out quick and early to battle with Flare and Storm. It went back and forth for the first three minutes, with each man nailing big moves and getting near-falls. At the four minute mark, the announcer called out that Tiny Biggs was coming down, and sure enough, the big man did. The fans cheered a bit as Biggs came down, and he tossed Flare to the outside, followed by a double chokeslame on Ice and Storm. He quickly got a cover on Ice for the 1, 2, 3, and Tiny Biggs is the new Breakdown champion! He begins to walk out as the clock hits 10 minutes and counting. The announcer then calls out that two more men are coming down to the ring, and Shaolin comes out, attacking Biggs with a chair! Another man which we'd never seen before, who Tony says is named "Salvation" comes down and goes after Biggs as well. The two men get him back to the ring, where an all out 5 on 1 attack goes down. Finally it gets to normal around the 5 minute mark when IceMan hits a superkick on Salvation, and Storm and Flare double team Shaolin. Shaolin is quickly knocked out of the ring as Flare attack Ice from behind. Storm quickly covers Tiny who looks to be down and maybe hurt. Storm gets the 1, 2, 3 and becomes the new Breakdown champion! He stumbles out of the ring with about 2 minutes to go. IceMan has rolled out of the ring now as Flare, Tiny, and Salvation all fight on the inside and Shaolin lies on the outside. Ice gives chase up the ramp, and suddenly Kyle Solomon comes out! No one knows what he's doing, since Bisc already said he wasn't supposed to have a match tonight. He gives a huge clothesline to Ice. Storm tries to run at Solomon, but Kyle picks him up smoothly into his finisher and puts Storm "Right on the Mark"! Kyle goes for the cover and gets the 1, 2, 3! The crowd goes nuts as all three men brawl on the ramp. The 15 minutes expire, leaving Kyle Solomon the new Breakdown Champ! IceMan, Tiny, and Storm chase after Solomon as Salvation, Flare, and Shaolin are now brawling through the crowd.]
[This match was even for a long stretch, as Dade and Gangus gave several good moves, even getting some chairs and the timekeeper's bell involved. At one point in the match, Dade hit the "Nightlife" (Electric Chair Drop) onto a table. Finally a blatent chokehold by Gangus got him back into the match, when the man from Dade's first match came in again. The man runs in through the the crowd, hops up on the ropes, and picked Gangus up, nailing him with some brass knucks. He backs up while Gangus is reeling and hits him with a Springboard Rocker Dropper. Dade is nearly unconscious, as is Gangus. The unknown man gets up, and starts jumping up and down, dancing and headbanging like a dumbass, then slides out the ring and runs back into the crowd. Dade slowly awakens, shakes his head and rolls an arm over onto Gangus, getting the 1, 2, 3 and become the Hardcore #1 Contender!]
["The Kids Aren't Alright" by The Offspring starts to play. Two pits appear in th entrance stage, one with 6' high flames coming out of it, the other emitting a blue dry-ice fog. From the fire pit, Inferna comes out; from the ice pit, the IceMan emerges. They meet in the middle of the entrance stage and exchange a kiss on the lips. Inferna grabs IceMan by the hand and they walk to the ring. When they got in the ring, Inferna blows kisses to the people while IceMan mounts a turnbuckle and looks out to the crown with a serious face on.]
Tony: These two look ready to go.
Rick: Damn yogurt...
Tony: What?!
Rick: IceMan... he's ready to go. All that yogurt has him prepared and everything.
Tony: Yoga, you friggin' moron. Yoga.
Rick: Uh... yeah. That's what I said.
Tony: Whatever, Rick. [mutters] yogurt, what a dumbass...
["The Devil's Dance" by Metallica blast away as King Kobra and Damien Hunter come to ringside. They're focused and ready to go. They sprint down to attack Fire and Ice, but "Revolution Is My Name" plays once again. Bisc Limpkit comes down and the two tag teams look at him oddly.]
BISC LIMPKIT: Hey, hey now! The old prez Trey had a MYSTERY team lined up for this match! Now, I know a lot of people thought that it might be Kyle Solomon and someone else, perhaps Tiny Biggs or Silky Palms. I don't know and I don't give a damn. The mystery team probably never existed, or if they did, they ran off with Trey and hid. But unlike Trey, I deliver. So, without further ado... here are my Corporate Hitmen!
["Social Enemies" by Orgy plays over the speakers as the lights dim. Some pyro goes off by the entrance as two men exit from the back. Both men are shrouded in black hoods and you can't even see their faces. No one in the crowd knows who they are, but they get good heat anyways as they make their way to the ring.]
[The mystery team holds their own, as Ice, Kobra, and one of the mystery men start off. Ice gets knocked to the outside early since he is the most tired, and Kobra and Damien double team one mystery man. The second one and Bisc both go and help him out though, and the "Corporate Hitmen" take advantage. As soon as Bisc has helped, he backs off of Damien and Kobra, trying to show that he has no problem with them. One man slams Kobra down to the mat, as the other nails a twisting senton splash from the top rope. He goes for the cover, but only gets 2. Ice and Inferna both get back into the ring, followed by Damien and the other mystery man. It's now a full out 6 man brawl and the ref has given up trying to keep order. Damien has grabbed Inferna by the hair and is screaming in her ear about the World Title match later tonight, and Ice grabs him from behind and drops him with an Inverted DDT. Ice goes for the cover, but only gets 2. Kobra steps from the mystery man he is fighting and nails Ice with a roundhouse kick to the jaw, knocking him wildly into the ropes, wrapping his arms up. Suddenly, Kyle Solomon comes through the crowd and gets behind Bisc on the outside. He taps Bisc on the shoulder and as Bisc spins, Kyle picks him up and nails him with "Right on the Mark"! Kyle spits on Bisc and quickly climbs to the apron, pulling the two mystery men by their long shrouds over the top rope and all three tumble to the outside. Meanwhile, Ice is still tangled up and Inferna gets double teamed by The Predators. Kyle climbs onto the "Corporate Hitmen" and yanks their black hoods off to reveal... James Cryptic masks, the very masks that Kyle used in the EPWA! Kyle's jaw drops and the two men nail him with a punch as they sit up. One in a mostly black Cryptic mask grabs Kyle and the other, in a mostly red Cryptic mask grabs a chair and plasters Kyle with it! They turn to the ring, where The Predators have both climbed onto Inferna to make a cover! They get the 1... 2... 3! The Corporate Hitmen hit the ring and IceMan finally gets out of the ropes, as all six men brawl until refs come and break it up! The Predators are handed the tag titles as "Devil's Dance" blast away and the crowd really is pissed off, throwing popcorn and soda into the ring.]
[Kobra remained at the ring after the tag match and the announcer called for Chaz Manson repeatedly. Chaz never appeared and the crowd booed at Bisc briefly appeared to motion to give Kobra the title by default. Kobra grabs the title from the referee's outstretched hands and poses for the crowd a few times, when the arena totally blacks out. The words "SWF RATINGS" pops up on the Smack-TV in red letters and a big "0%" fades in. That fades out and the letters "SC" show up, then the words "Mr. Showtime", then "SC" again... then the ratings meter once again. The 0% switches to a 20%, and then fades out. The lights come back up, leaving a confused and pissed off Kobra in the ring.]
[Inferna, Damien, and finally Drake all come down to the ring. Bisc Limpkit comes down with the "Corporate Hitmen" and tells the ref to start the match because Kyle is no longer in the match, especially after his actions tonight. The match begins as Inferna and Drake doubleteam on Blackheart. Bisc looks on with little or no emotion, mostly keeping an eye out for Solomon. Drake nails a huge innovation on Blackheart and Inferna puts on a submission. Drake steps back for a second, climbs the turnbuckle, and does a big splash off onto both Inferna and Damien. Drake kicks Inferna off the apron and turns, but Blackheart hits him with a low blow. Damien goes to work, nailing several punching and kicking combos on Drake, who tries to block them but is usually unsuccessful. Suddenly, "The Way I Am" hits the speakers and the crowd pops as Kyle Solomon comes out from the back. Bisc immediately starts pointing at Solomon to go to the back, but then steps out none other than Michael Trey! Bisc goes pale and Michael just stares at his Vice President. Bisc regains his composure and raises his hand in the air and signals for the Corporate Hitmen to attack Trey and Solomon. The two men do, but Trey and Solomon fend the men off quickly and block several punches, followed by simultanteous kicks to the gut. Trey glances at Solomon and both men hit the mystery men with the Flash of Pain DDT (double arm DDT)! They climb onto the men and yank back the shrouds again, showing the masks. Trey is sitting on the man in the black Cryptic mask, and Kyle is on the man in the red Cryptic mask. Meanwhile, in the ring, Damien has bloodied up Drake and now is working on Inferna. Bisc is trying to talk to the referee about not allowing Solomon into the match and is actually giving Damien an advantage inadvertantly. Back on the ramp, Kyle and Trey decide to yank off the Cryptic masks. Kyle does so and it turns out to be... The Sexy Bitch and Kyle's (former?) tag partner, Silky Palms! Trey rips off the other mask and shows Black Angel, Yoshihiro Takagi! The crowd virtually explodes with heat as they see this, and Bisc begins screaming into the mic how Trey had screwed up by not bringing these two men into the SWF and how they had been the two biggest names in SWF History, not Solomon. Trey and Kyle pull the two men down to ringside and slam them into the steps while Bisc continues rambling about his plans to bring them back. Kyle slides into the ring and attacks Inferna, who has had the upper hand for a little while. They brawl back and forth, and Inferna nails a dropkick, sending Kyle back towards the ropes. Silky sits up and grabs Kyle's legs, and Inferna clotheslines Kyle over the top to the outside. Meanwhile, Bisc and Trey are arguing in the corner by the announce table and Black Angel has now slid into the ring to attack Inferna! They fight as Drake and Damien are brawling near the turnbuckle. Black Angel nails a vicious suplex and bridges it on Inferna, and the ref, upon hearing contact, spins to make the count without seeing who is pinning her. Luckily, Drake turns and baseball slides on the mat, breaking up the pin. The ref sees Angel and makes him leave. He decks the ref, knocking him back to the mat and then goes to seperate Trey and Bisc. In the ring, Inferna is down and Drake has gotten onto the top rope. Damien runs over though and grabs Drake, tossing him onto Inferna from the top! Damien runs over and makes a cover, but the ref is still out. On the outside, Silky has busted a 2x4 over Kyle's head and left him woozy on the concrete. Silky slides in as Damien begins to revive the ref. Silky whips Damien into the ropes and on the return nails the Silky Streem (Body Press in Diamond Cutter)! Silky hooks the leg and the ref counts... 1... 2... 3!!! Silky rolls out before the ref can see, and the crowd begins chucking jujubees and other hard candy viciously into the ring. Trey begins shaking his head, saying the Silky cannot win the belt since he wasn't in the match. Bisc just smiles and yanks the belt from the timekeeper's table and hands it to Silky as Trey is held by Black Angel. Silky books up towards the back, but Kyle smacks him with a chair as he rounds the ring. Kyle drops the chair and ignores Silky, running to help Trey and attack Bisc! Meanwhile, Damien, Drake, and Inferna have all rolled out and begin chasing the stumbling Silky towards the back, all wanting the World Belt as the PPV fades out to the logo!]
END
SWF 2000
